Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Me me me me me

My sister-in-law Stephanie sent me this email survey today. I love these things. Can't get enough of them. Why? because I am obnoxiously narcissistic, of course. I mean, come on, I BLOG. So here goes.

Hi, my name is: Melissa Jo

Never in my life have I: not known Jesus

The one person who can drive me nuts is: Oh, lots of people drive me nuts. 4 of them live in my house

My school is: the University of Texas at Austin, the Flagship university of the Great State of Texas, as mandated in the Texas Constitution

When I'm nervous: my chest turns red and I get tongue tied and stumble over my words. Used to be so embarrassing around guys I was crushing on. Before I got married, I mean.

The last song I listened to was: Jesus Loves Me in the car sung by a beautiful chorus of tinny children's voices and one synthesizer. Very like the music I listened to in the 80s, come to think of it. Wow, that explains why I want to shave half my head, put on a brooch, and dance whenever I hear it.

If I were to get married right now it would be: a beautiful example of living out the Principle. We are currently in the market for our first sister wife. Her job will be to cook, clean, and take care of 4 children while I take naps and get my nails done. Send your resumes to:

My hair is: perpetually in a headband, baseball cap and/or chip clip while I wait for this bad haircut to grow out

When I was 4: I sucked my thumb and believed witches lived in my closet. Along with the cast from Zoom.

Last Christmas: was the first year my kids really got Santa Claus. Super fun.

I should be: doing about 5,000,000 other things

When I look down I see: my ever expanding thighs

The happiest recent event was: getting a bid for granite countertops that was way lower than I thought it would be AND saving $1000 on the floors by calling around. Call me the Savvy Shopper!

If I were a character on 'Friends': I am Rachel, so I have been told 1,000 times

By this time next year: I will be in a remodeled house YEA!

My current gripe is: that I can't seem to lose the last 10 lbs and I can't work out because it hurts the bunions on my feet. Life's rough for a white woman living in America today, I tell ya.

I have a hard time understanding: how the UPS man has come every day for the last 3 days to pick up our old DVR and I STILL don't have it boxed up for him. He is a skinny cranky old man and has shown me no sympathy either. In fact I think he is judging me. I cringe in shame each time the doorbell rings. I tried to hide this afternoon but my dang kids ruinned it for me by running to the door and shouting Who dere? Who dat mommy? Is he a bad guy? Come IN bad guy!

There's these girls: called the Mommaducks, who are all Christian and live all over the country and all have lots of kids, and we all email each other about 50 times a day even though only 2 of us have ever met

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: depends on the award....right now I am winning the slacker award and telling y'all

I want to buy: granite countertops

I plan to visit: Galveston over Thanksgiving

If you spent the night at my house: you would soon be on the Quick Weight Loss Plan my husband is on now, which consists of lying in bed in the dark interspersed with periodic wind sprints to the potty

The world could do without: pet psychics

Most recent thing I've bought: went to a wonderful Christian bookstore called Grapevine last night that is going out of business and everything is on sale. I am very very sad to see it close, but also an opportunist.

Most recent thing someone else bought me: Um. My mom went to Kroger last week with Maggie and bought me lots of groceries. That's better than diamonds for several reasons.

This morning I: woke up and fed the kids and dozed while they watched cartoons

Last night I was: up way too late blogging, then sleeping on the couch in an attempt to avoid the Vengeful Microbes lurking in my bedroom

There's this guy I know who: needs me to wipe his heinie whenever he poops

If I were an animal: I'd wish I were a human

A better name for me would be: Melissa Trump

Tomorrow I am: singing praises to the Lord because the maid comes

Tonight I am: Cleaning up for said maid. Because I am too embarrassed for her to see how bad my house really got in the fortnight she has been away. Kind of pathetic.

My birthday is: May 7


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