Friday, November 23, 2007
Happy Anniversary Missy & Walker!
For years, when I should have been paying attention to the sermon, I gazed from the balcony where my mom and I sat every Sunday toward the historical crimson aisle of the First United Methodist Church and envisioned myself walking down it in a fluffy white dress to meet my bridegroom. Five years ago today, the dream became a reality. Walker made me his wife.
I love being married. I really do. I love being married to Walker. Right after our wedding, I thought it was like a never ending slumber party with your best friend. I still feel that way. The best friend is snoring loud enough to wake the dead as we speak. He's all mine. A friend asked us, "Do you just laugh all the time, living with him?" Well, no. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we yell. But we do laugh an awful lot.
Recently I was pondering the whole love in marriage thing. It is hard for me to categorize loving him, or being in love with him. Because it is like saying, 'I love air', or 'I love water.' These are not things I think of in terms of romance - they are the things that sustain me. I know that we have entered into what Paul called the Divine Mystery of two becoming one. I don't know where I end and Walker begins. He is a part of my soul, enmeshed into every fiber of myself and of my life. He is not my better half, he is my better whole.
When we were first married, we were at a dinner party when one guest mentioned that, in marriage, typically one is the "follower". Literally. One spouse tends to follow the other around the house, room to room - often to the total annoyance of the one being followed. Walker guffawed and pointed an accusatory finger at me. 'That's YOU! You are the follower, baby! You!" Shocked at the revelation, I, Miss Independence, was forced to admit its veracity. It has since become a joke between us. I am the follower, and evenings when he is not home, I feel wayward. A sheep without, I won't say a shepherd - more like a sheep without her big fun sheep to blabber all the details of her day to. I want him near me.
The divine mystery is how he puts up with me. I know I got the better end of the deal. Anyone who knows us will say with no hesitation that Walker is the easier one to live with. It is indisputable that I have hurt him more times than he has hurt me. I have tested him more, I have sanctified him more (you're welcome darlin, wink wink).
I could write a very long treatise on my failings as his wife.
But he loves me. He raises me up. He praises me at the gates. He forgives me repeatedly, instantly upon request. Walker is the most forgiving person I have ever known, and that comes in handy when one is married to me.
I am my beloved's, and he is mine. And his banner over me is love.
Tonight at our celebratory dinner, I said, I can't believe it has been five years, and soon we will say, I can't believe it has been ten years, I can't believe it has been twenty years. To which he replied We'll be saying I can't believe its been twenty years and I'm driving the same freakin' car, and I laughed.
We laugh a lot.
I have been blessed.
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow.