Thursday, July 31, 2008

Dental injustice

Walker took this week off, which is why my blogging has been a little erratic. We are just having a vacation at home, and boy do I love having him here all day. Especially since he has been letting me sleep in pretty much every day. Partly because he is the sweetest, most unselfish husband on earth. And partly because, as he said last night, "I just don't like you very much when you haven't had enough sleep."

Hey, whatever the reason, it's working for me.

For some reason, getting my husband to go to the dentist is like pulling teeth (hahaha! I crack myself up.) But really. I know he went when we were engaged, you know, back when he would do everything I asked him to do.

....let's take a moment and remember those glory days...

And I think he went right after Shep was born.

And that's it y'all.

Gross, right? So totally gross.

So in the last five years, I have scheduled several appointments for him to blatantly just, not show up to.

Now I am a dental hygiene snob. I brush my teeth first thing when I wake up because I so hate even my own morning breath.

I remember when Shep was first born and I fed him in the middle of the night, I would try not to breathe on him so as not to offend him with my midnight halitosis. Just practicing the golden rule.

I go to the dentist twice a year for a cleaning. And I have skipped brushing my teeth at night, like, maybe three times in my life. I even floss.

My husband?
Well.

Let's just say the first couple of months of our marriage so scarred me that I still ask him every night, "Have you brushed your teeth?"

Which I think he would quickly say is my most annoying habit.

Anyway as soon as he said he was taking this week off, I began calling every dentist within a ten mile radius to try and get him a checkup, which, a month before school starts, ain't so easy. Our dentist called Tuesday and said they had an opening, could he come in. He couldn't but I could, so I went.

Guess what.

I have a stinking cavity.

Me, the obsessive tooth brusher, the good girl, the flosser, has fallen victim to the sugar bugs.

You know what the hygienist said it probably was?

My one indulgence. My ONE INDULGENCE, ok, maybe not my only indulgence but ONE OF MY FEW INDULGENCES, the one thing I do to bring myself just a little bit of morning joy:


She said since you sip coffee slowly, the cream has more time to settle. Argh!!!

So, yesterday Walker goes.

The one who has to be reminded to brush (sometimes you forget! yes you do!!) And does he ever floss? Puh-lease.

He's the one who hasn't been to the dentist in at least three babies.

The one who I bet would have at least two cavities, and for whom they would need a pickup truck to haul off all the tartar they scraped off his sad rotten teeth.

And you know what the dentist told him?

"You have disgustingly healthy teeth."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, call me a bad wife. But I am disgusted by his disgustingly healthy teeth.



And pass the creamer.


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