Thursday, July 10, 2008

Unfathonable Public Hum*liation for your entertainment


Walker's best friend is named Dave. Dave and Walker are those kind of friends who tend to regress about twenty years whenever they are around. Your husband probably has one too - suddenly anything that would have been funny to a 15 year old is funny to them. It's pretty goofy. Being so, they have a habit of, whenever someone asks to take their picture together, posing as though they are, er, more than friends. If you know what I mean.



Let me state, for the record, that Walker is straight. Just, you know, for the record. Ahem.
Walker also has a bad habit of embarrassing himself at work in ways to rival Michael Scott. Horribly, humiliatingly, hysterically.

He's been away all week on bidness. Today I received this email from him. And when I was given permission to share it, my heart filled with overwhelming joy.
A gift for your Friday, my bloggy friends.


The email:

Date: Thu, Jul 10, 3:33PM

subject: RE: Unfathonable Public Humilation: The Walker Chronicles, Volume XI
mailed-by hotmail.com



Friends,
Once again I have suffered a humiliting disaster, epic in its power. 


This morning I was in Peabody, Mass (pronounced 'Pee-Did-Dee') for work. 
I was about to kick start a product briefing and demo in front of a room of about fifty trusted customers and partners, colleagues and friends, when my introducer, Jeff, suggested that I pop up an image I had shown him the night before of my two year-old daughter Maggie angrily tugging on a roll of duct tape after Missy and I had taped shut her diaper. Maggie had been in the recent habit of 'pulling a personal Picaso' on her crib sheets after taking off her sodden diapers in the middle of the night and we had started taping her diapers in an effort to stop these disgusting finger painting exercises.
Jeff said, 'Hey, why don't you start with that funny picture of your daughter? You know, the one with the duct tape on her diaper?'


Below is the Maggie Duct Tape Diaper picture I wanted to show.
He suggested that this picture would be a good illustration of the concept of 'a tool for every problem', something to bring a nice roll of chuckles from the audience and give me a nice spring-board into my discussion of how {Dunder Mifflin} products are good 'tools for every problem'?
Nice, huh? 

How could this go wrong?

Well, as my laptop was connected to a huge projector showing my display, everything I was doing in trying to find Maggie's picture was being shown to the room. I keep a folder called 'Personal Pix' where I have stashed over the years random family pix, friends pixs, neat images, etc.

I find the folder and double-click on it...

What is the first image that is blow across the enormo-screen in front of me??

It's the one that my friend Luke calls 'Dave and Walker Celebrate Closing on Their Cute Little Duplex in the Bay Area' pix....a photo taken years ago when I was celebrating my 30th b-day, which Missy was so kind as to soft focus...
Nervous and awkward, The Office-like titters broke out...I had to soldier on...I am sure that my wedding ring and comments about my kids later in the presentation utterly baffled them.
-Walker



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