Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Plan F

Shepherd is turning five. My baby is turning FIVE.

His birthday is August 26. The weekend before, I will be in San Antonio with Beth. The weekend after is no good because it's Labor Day. So we're gonna go crazy and have it on his actual birthday, a Tuesday, at 3pm so that the kids who have already started school can still come afterwards.

And he wants a monster truck party. Now, despite the fact that every five year old boy I know is pretty obsessive about very loud, very classy vehicles with names such as GraveDigger and Bigfoot, finding party supplies, decorations etc has been almost impossible.


And I know, because I have searched at least six stores in vain.

In a flash of inspiration, I decided to ask Unky Dave, who is a whiz at graphics, to make his invitation since I figured he could do in about five seconds what I would spend all day on, and it still would look crummy. He did, and emailed us back this, which was perfect:

Yesterday. Uploaded the picture to Walgreens, who had very cute little cards they could make for only a dollar each. Fabulous. I will design it online then pop down to Walgreens in an hour to pick it up. Spend 30 minutes or so working on it. Proceed to checkout. Read, "shipping time, 3-5 days after order processing."

WHAT? I need this now!! His birthday is 15 days away, they should have been in the mail already! I don't have time for this!

Plan B.
Costco.com, where I develop all my pictures, has photo postcards. Not as cute, but whatever. Spend 20 minutes uploading, writing the text. Proceed to checkout. Dangit. Shipping time 3-5 days.

We can put a man on the moon...

Plan C.
Ok. I will just make my own postcards from the photos. Order 20 prints from Costco. Go pick them up.

7:00pm. Walker asks if I think I will be done by 9ish so we can watch episode 4 of season one of Mad Men, our new addiction. I figure, yeah, I should be done by then, this should only take about an hour.

8:00pm. I print labels with the 2"x4" mailing labels with all the details on it. It's not going to look great, in fact I tell Walker these are the tackiest invitations I have ever sent out. But oh well. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Stick the labels on there and....they. are. too. big. Don't fit on the back of the picture with room to write the address! They would fit sideways but even Walker, not known for his stationery aesthetics, agrees that it looks awful.

Crappity crap crapola.

Plan D.
9:00. tool around with adding text bubbles to the front. Walker again concurs that it looks dumb. Curse scrapbooking ladies and all their cute invitations for raising the bar too high for the rest of us (I'm talking bout you, Cousin Christy.)

Plan E
10:00pm. After much weeping and gnashing of teeth, decide to make a card and glue the photo on the front, and write the text on the inside. A scaled down version of the original Walgreens cards. I even find some old leftover paper from when I did this for Eva Rose's first birthday. Spend an hour lining up the text write, measuring and cutting cardstock.

11:00 pm: Fight with the printer. FISTICUFFS. We take it outside. We come back in, bloodied and bruised, but Momma Bear has won. Or Momma Gravedigger. Either way, the printer finally admits defeat and recognizes that cardstock has rights too. I print 20 invitations, back and front, while streaming Jill Brisco. Finally finish. And you know what? They look cute. Real cute. Walker smiles, compliments, goes to bed.

midnight: My work is done. I read and comment on a couple of blogs.

12:30am: In the shower. Suddenly, a thought occurs to me. A horrible, terrifying thought:
  • The girls start mothers' day out on August 27, the day after Shep's birthday.
  • Shep's going to Transition next year (a bridge grade between PreK and K, for summer babies).
  • Transition is considered part of the school school, not the preschool...
  • What if the school starts on a....gulp...different day than the preschool...

12:32am: race to the computer, log on to the school's website.

Oh no.
Oh no oh no oh NO!

He starts school August 25!!!!!!!!!!

I can't have his party on a school day!!!!! At 3:00, he won't even be home yet!!

I walk back into my bedroom, tap an almost sleeping Walker, and whisper, "Hold me...just hold me..."

** Update. I think I am gonna do it on Sept 6. Which means Eva Rose's will get bumped to Sept 13. And then Walker's big 35th is the next weekend. I am going to be so tired of birthday parties!!
I just can't do the evite thing. Not yet. Maybe by Ike or Maggie....but I am just not there yet. The invitation snob in me has yet to die. But I think she is weakening.

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