Ethiopia Adoption Q&A

So many of our family and friends have been asking questions about Ethiopia. I got another one today and thought, hey....I do have this thing called a blog...

Pretend we are at Starbucks...sipping some strong Ethiopian java.

Q: Why do you want to adopt?
A: The short answer: We want more children. There are children who want parents. Voila.

The long answer: God placed a love of adoption on both of our hearts before we ever met. Walker's favorite verse has always been Galatians 4:6-7 - it was one of the verses we chose to print in our wedding bulletin. Both of us feel that next to marriage, adoption is the closest earthly reproduction of God's love for us. We are blessed and honored and humbled to mimic our Father in this manner: to choose a child who is not of us, to call him or her our own, and make him or her our beloved heir - in the same way that the Lord did for us via the blood of our Savior Jesus Christ.

There are 147 million orphans in the world. That number makes me weep. I would mother all of them if I could. I can't. But I can mother at least one.

Q: What? Ethiopia? I thought you wanted a baby from China?
A: We did. I have dreamed of getting a little girl from China for years and years. Unfortunately, due to a variety of reasons, it is getting harder and harder to adopt from China and the wait is very long, as in 4-6 years minimum long. And personally, I just don't trust China not to shut down their program all of a sudden, leaving hundreds of parents and orphans stranded.

Q: So why Ethiopia?
A: The short answer: we don't have much choice. Most countries will not adopt out their orphans to homes with more than three previous kids. (Because an orphanage with hundreds of kids is better than a loving home with four kids? Don't get me started!!)

Also, we can get a baby from Ethiopia, and I want as tiny a baby as possible. Ethiopia is also one of the cheaper countries from which to adopt, the timing is quicker (15-18 months, usually), we only travel to Ethiopia one time and only stay about a week, and the process is pretty straightforward. Not that we had much of a choice, because did I mention most countries think an orphanage with hundreds of children is better than a loving home with four children??

The long answer:

• life expectancy in Ethiopia 39 years for males and 42 years for females. The leading cause of death is communicable diseases such as malaria, typhoid, meningitis, cholera, AIDS, tuberculosis, yellow fever.
  
• Woman have an average of 7 children and the maternal mortality rate is 1 in 14
  
• Ethiopia's neonatal mortality rate is one of the highest in the world - 49/1000 births with tetanus infection being the second major cause of infant/neonatal death.
• Ethiopia is one of the poorest countries in the world. Over half the population lives on less than a $1 a day. The average income in Ethiopia is US$100 a year. Almost 82% of the population lives on less than $1 a day.
• Malnutrition levels are among the highest in the world.
• Ethiopia is experiencing yet another drought now.
  
• Ethiopia is home to 4-6 million orphans, or 12% of all children.
• That is the same number of children under age 18 who reside in Massachusetts, New York State, and Washington DC combined. If every parent in those places died tonight - that would be similar to Ethiopia's orphan crisis.
  
• More than half a million of these were orphaned as a result of AIDS.
• Only 42.7% age 15 and over can read and write.
• Only 18 percent of children reach grade five. That means 82% of children don't.

Added bonus: Ethiopia produces the cutest babies of pretty much anywhere on the planet.

The other country we seriously considered was Rwanda, which has just begun adopting.

Q: There are plenty of kids who need homes here in America. Why aren't you adopting one of them?
A: There are plenty of kids who need homes here in America. Why aren't you adopting one of them?
We believe that God is calling us to Ethiopia this time. You either get that, or you don't.

Q: Who is your agency, and why did you choose them?
A: Gladney in Ft. Worth. Gladney has been around forever (literally, it is the oldest in the country) and has an excellent reputation. One of my best friends growing up was a Gladney baby, so I have always known about it. And, they are in Texas. Which earns them even more points.

Q: How does all this work?
A: We are just beginning the paperchase now, which is extensive and overwhelming. As soon as all that is completed and we turn in what is called a dossier, we will receive a referral - hopefully by this time next year. A referral is a photograph of our child and information about him or her. After we accept the referral, the child will be taken from an orphanage to a home run by Gladney, where he or she will be loved and fattened up, essentially. Then there are two court dates. If we pass both of them the first time, we will plan our trip to go get our baby. And finally post photos on the blog!! We are hoping to have a babe-in-arms sometime early 2011.

I am on a yahoo adoption board, and lots of families passed court this past week. It is thrilling to see the rejoicing emails.

Q: Are you getting a girl or a boy?
A: We are pretending we're pregnant and taking whatever God gives us. We will get whoever is next on the list. Our chances of getting a boy are higher, since most families request girls. Hopefully our baby will be less than a year old when we get him or her.

Q: What if the baby has AIDS?
A: The babies are tested at least twice before they are adopted. The chances are very low. We are requesting a healthy child. There are many special needs children who need to be adopted, but I simply don't have the bandwidth for that right now. Maybe someday, when our children are older and more independent, that would be an option.

Q: Um, can I ask about how much this all costs?
A: Um, about 20,000 buckaroos.

Q: Oh, we could never afford to do that.
A: Most people can't. Most people can't afford a new car either, but when they want or need one, they seem to find the money somehow. {smile}

Q: Um, so, like, how are you getting that money?
A: Um, so, can we borrow about 20,000 buckaroos? We haven't figured all that out yet. But we know that God loves adoption and believe that He will provide.

(Please don't think that knowing that doesn't mean I don't have 12 count 'em 12 zits on my chin at the moment, my shoulders are hard as a rock, and my friend Nicole had to hug me today when I burst into tears. God is faithful - Missy is a stressbag.)

Oh, and, Uncle Sam gives you a $12,000 adoption tax credit. Cool, huh? Also, Walker's company gives an adoption benefit - many companies do. So we will get that back. We just have to come up with the money up front - that is the hard part. But ultimatelyl we hope to only be out around $6,000. Small price to pay for another sugarlump.

(My fantasy is for our church to provide adoption grants to families as part of the missions budget. Maybe someday.)

Q: Will you put a little donation thingy on your blog like some people do?
A: Walker is not comfortable with that. But if I can figure out a way for people to donate miles to us for the trip over, I will.

Q: So you will actually go to Ethiopia?
A: Yes, for about a week. I have always wanted to go to Africa so I am psyched. And I definitely want to see the land that is giving us our baby. And no, we don't intend to take our kids. Unless we get LOTS and LOTS of miles donated!

Q: How do the kids feel about the adoption?
A: Thrilled. Every one of them adores babies.

Q: How does your extended family feel about the adoption?
A: Some are more encouraging than others.

Q: Are you worried about being a white family adopting a black baby?
A: We know it will have its difficulties. We consider them minuscule in comparison to the difficulty of being an orphan in a devastated country like Ethiopia.

Q: Where can I get more information?
A: Oh, I am SO glad you asked. One of the best websites is There Is No Me Without You, by Melissa Fay Greene, who wrote a book of the same name that I have not yet read. It is a wealth of information, and this article says it all.

Orphan Sunday is coming up this Sunday. The website has lots of information.

You can google "Ethiopia adoption blogs" and be kept busy all night. Here is one of my personal faves. Just start clicking on her blogroll.

Gwen Oatsvall is one of my favorite people I have never met. She is currently adopting from Uganda - her new website with cute shirts is here.

You can also go to YouTube and enter in "Ethiopia adoption" and be kept busy all night. Have your Kleenex close by.

Few of my faves:







See what I mean? I see these and I know, we'll find a way. We will find a way.

If I didn't answer any other questions, please leave me a comment.

And thanks for askin. ;)