Monday, October 12, 2009

The Missy/Pissy Project

Apologies for the Schedule IV in the title.

Several weeks ago, my girlfriends and I all went to see the movie "Julie & Julia" together. You've probably seen it, because most people with ovaries in this country have. If you haven't, you should. Absolutely precious movie.

You wanna know why it was so precious? Because the Julie character was a complete fabrication.

You wanna know how I know this to be so? Because for the past week or so I have been reading the book that the movie was based on, The Julie/Julia Project, written by the Julie of the title. And y'all. Sweet, winsome, adorable Amy Adams she ain't. You bet your boeuf bourguignon she ain't.

Real life Julie - well. Um. Whiney. Kinda boring. Drops a whole lot of Schedule Is, IIs, IIIs, IVs and Vs. Works in any opportunity to declare all Republicans inherently evil, and is royally on my nerves. It's abundantly clear to me why Julia had no desire to meet her.

So why can't I put this wretched book down?

I had this same issue a few months ago with Bret Lott's A Stranger's House. Bret Lott is a great writer and the story was kind of interesting but I really hated the main character. For some of the same reasons I am not enthralled with Julie, come to think of it. I hated the book all the way to page 256. Then I told my mom how much I hated it. She borrowed it, hated it all the way through, and when she was done we had a little chat about how much we hated it.

It's a sickness, I tell you.

I am not the type to commit to any project. My home is full of my fabulous ideas that puttered out. I am halfway through a cross stitched quilt that I began when I first learned I was pregnant - in 2002. It shares a box with a incomplete cross stitch of Mary and Baby Jesus that I started in college. My little office under the stairs contains no less than three wreaths that were abandoned midcircle.

My wedding scrapbook is not quite finished.

And please don't even ask about the baby books.

So why do I develop such a pesky case of sticktoittiveness when it comes to a book, even a book I deplore??

I have about fifty pages left. Here's hoping I finish up tonight so I can be put out of my misery. My neurotic, voluntary, self-induced misery.


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