Wednesday, March 3, 2010

If a tree fell in the forest, it would only provide a fraction of the paper required to bring an orphan home.

But I am thrilled to announce that I am ALMOST DONE. Hallelujah!!! The Dreaded Dark Cloud called Dossier is mostly complete. I am waiting for some people to mail me some things back and then I still have to get about five things notarized and get our reference letters and mail it all in and get our passports and draw a sketch of our home get the homestudy report and sheesh, it isn't sounding quite so done anymore.

But I am beginning to see the light at the end of the paperchase.

This is definitely a different experience from, you know, how we got the other kids. Ahem. New experiences.

Here are some things that I never had to do before to have a baby:
  • Get fingerprinted for - y'all - the FBI. Now how cool is that? Certainly not how I spend an average Wednesday. I thought it would feel very Sydney Bristow but in actuality it felt more like I was being booked on Law & Order. Except the fingerprintees don't giggle on Law & Order. Nor try to hop up to peek through the tall window on the door of the cell next to the fingerprinting room. A cell which was unoccupied, fortunately, cause that mighta been awkward.
  • Get fingerprinted by Homeland Security. To make sure this adoption is not really a sophisticated ruse to disguise our plans to smuggle plutonium into Ethiopia in Dr. Brown's bottles.
  • Get tested for TB, HIV, hepatitis, and syphilis. Walker's test was significantly more invasive than mine. Heh heh heh. Still doesn't compare to even one childbirth but still - paybacks, babe, paybacks.
  • Ask our pastor, neighbor, friends and family if they think we will make good parents, and if so, could they please put that in writing, and if they really think so, could that have that love letter notarized pretty please?
I also had to put together 10-12 photos of us as a family. I put this part off because I knew that it would be time consuming but relatively easy, right? Considering I take about 500 photos a month of us? Just pick a few good ones and do a little cut here and a paste there?


Finding snotfree pictures of the children without panties on their heads or pudding all over their faces was challenging but not impossible. But they also wanted a photo of just the two of us.

Just me and Walker.
Looking nice and normal.
Stable, and sane.
Like the sort of people you would want to give a helpless baby to.

Over the past year, we have taken a few photos together for me to choose from.

Perhaps this is a good choice to represent us to the government of Ethiopia:

or maybe Walker's stalker look would warm their hearts here

If they could get past Walker's jaunty kick, I think my martini would seal the deal in this one

come on Ethiopia, once you have octuplets and sextuplets, what's one more, huh?

I finally decided on this photograph that we took last week.

Just standing there. Smiling. Under a tree.

Like the nice, normal,
boring, conservative parents we are.


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