Thursday, July 15, 2010

Maternal SATs


Please have your #2 pencils sharpened and ready.
Keep your eyes on your own screen.

Verbal portion:
Fill in the blanks.

1) Like a cat to catnip is a toddler to _____________.

a. toothpaste
b. Sharpies
c. toilet paper
d. vacuum cleaners
e. all of the above

2) Because infant formula is so _________ it is priced incredibly __________.

a. ubiquitous.....competitively
b. necessary....exploitatively
c. delicious.....high
d. obsolete.....fairly

3) To some, childbirth is considered __________. To others, it is considered _________.

a. a blessing......a means to an end
b. natural....a fabulous reason for copious amounts of drugs
c. beautiful.....kinda gross
d. all of the above

4) The children's union insisted A on an increase in there B members’ C starting allowance, and threatened to call a strike if the parents refused to D meet the demand. No error E.

Literature
5. a. Goodnight comb and goodnight brush, Goodnight nobody goodnight ___________
b. I love you, you love me, we're a __________ with a great big ________ and a kiss ______ won't you say ________________.
c. Brown bear, brown bear, _________________.
d. A told B and B told C, I'll _________________.
e. I'll love you ___________, I'll like you ________________, forever and __________ my ______ you'll _______.


6) Vocabulary. Define each word or phrase:

object permanence
tracking
tummy time
Irish twins
Soothies
BPA free
5-point harness system
Plastibell method
Sleep positioner
nursing strike
sleepy cues
Ferber method
pincer grasp
separation anxiety
tongue thrust reflex
cruising
parallel play
sensory integration issues

Bonus: diastasis recti

7) Write the words represented by each abbreviation:

AP
AAP
CIO
PPD
BF
PK
LMP
UTI
BFP / BFN
MDO
VBAC
RAD
RSV
MMR
NICU
DHA
RBSTs
PTA
PMS
LLL
PCOS
EDD
FMLA
VBS
IVF
SAHM

8) Essay portion: Describe every method you have ever tried to achieve continuous nighttime infant sleep. Raise your hand and ask your proctor if extra paper is required.

9) List a minimum of 12 uses for baby wipes.

10) Oral exam:
Recite Ephesians 6:1.


Mathematics portion
Please show your work.

1) Grayson is two years old. Grayson was up until 10pm and woke up at 5am. Determine the cranky factor for Grayson.

2) Find the cranky factor for Grayson's mother. Be sure to factor into the equation perimenopause. Calculators allowed for this question.

4) Gracen weighs 42 pounds. If Gracen's mother is lying on the floor and Gracen jumps from the couch to her stomach, estimate the pain level. Bonus: Determine the decibels of Gracen's mother's scream.

5) Which of the following represents the greatest value?
a. A weekly massage for a year
b. An annual weeklong retreat to a beach in the Caribbean
c. Babysitting for one weekend once every quarter
d. A daily 20 minute nap

6) Charming Charlies has approximately 434, 546 unique pieces of jewelry. GraceAnn, a five year old female child, is taken to Charming Charlies and told she may choose one item. The item must not be too expensive or too mature.
a. How many items will be rejected based on those two variables?
b. How many hours will this process take? Show your work.

7) a. A hypothetical woman is pregnant and gains 32 pounds. She loses 28 pounds. She becomes pregnant again and gains 30 pounds. She loses 25 pounds. She becomes pregnant again and gains 34 pounds. She loses 26 pounds. She becomes pregnant again and gains 32 pounds. She loses 25 pounds. Determine the average of this hypothetical woman's disappointment with the volume of her postpartum body.
b. Is hypothetical woman considered angular or rotund? Support your answer.

8) A family with several children is driving a car from Houston to Dallas. They leave Houston at 5:45pm traveling at an average rate of 55 miles per hour. They stop the car three times averaging 12 minutes each time. The family arrives in Dallas at 10:30pm.

At what time did the children fall asleep in the car?
a. 10:28pm
b. 10:27pm
c. 10:26pm
d. 10:23pm

9) Graesonne is three years old. If Graesonne is disciplined by his parents every time he shouts NO at his parents, how many times will Graesonne be disciplined before he finally ceases shouting NO?

10) Add together the weight of a six month old child, the weight of an infant carseat, and the weight of a diaper bag packed by a first time mother. Based on this figure, determine the degree of back pain for said mother.

11) Probability: Two year old Graesin's mother is already 15 minutes late to her destination. Calculate the probability that Graesin will refuse to sit in his carseat.

12) If a 64 ounce bottle of apple juice is knocked off a kitchen counter, based on the initial velocity of the liquid, estimate the magnitude of impulse delivered to the floor, cabinets, and ceiling.

BONUS:
13) Estimation: Missy, a pregnant mother, is in the third stage of labor. An epidural is being auctioned off by three anesthesiologists in increments of $500. What is the maximum estimated expense that Missy would be willing to incur to receive one?

Pencils down. Time's up.
Please wait for the proctor to retrieve your tests.

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