Hallelujah, we are still rejoicing in the fact that our dossier is complete. Yippee!!
Some of you might be wondering what on earth a dossier - doss-ee-ay - is, other than a chance to impress everyone with a French word every day and in every conversation for several long months.
Here's how it works. Imagine every question to which you might answer, "I'm sorry, but that is so totally none of your beeswax" if a perfect stranger were to ask. Enter those answers on the appropriate forms. Take your top secret document to the bank and ask another perfect stranger to notarize it. Ask him or her, "No offense, but when does your notary commission expire?" Repeat 30 times.
In addition to that, you must bribe several friends and your pastor to write letters about how you are the greatest person they have ever met and your doctor to swear that you are perrrrrfectly normal. Wink wink.
BUT - you had best MAKE SURE that you/your doctor/pediatrician/banker/boss/friend/pastor does everything EXACTLY RIGHT, and I do mean EXACTLY, or it all has to be done over again. Not to pressure you or anything, but if it is not done EXACTLY RIGHT, it could delay or jeopardize your ENTIRE ADOPTION.
So you can see that it is a wee bit stressful.
After that sucker was finally on it's way to our nation's capital, I kept saying, "I feel like I just graduated from college." Because for the four years that I was at UT, I lived under a constant dark cloud that whatever I was doing, like, watching Married With Children on my boyfriend's couch under his framed Nagels or swimming at Barton Creek, there was something else I was supposed to be doing instead.
Since January, I have felt the same way. You know, guilty for having fun on Sixth Street folding laundry when I had so much homework to do. And now - (insert angelic choirs) - the cloud has lifted.
Which got Walker and I to talking about:
TOP THIRTEEN WAYS THAT PREPARING A DOSSIER IS LIKE BEING IN COLLEGE
- The eternal, nagging feeling that there is some homework you should be doing right now
- The first look at the syllabus causes a panic attack
- The printer or computer will fail to cooperate when there is a deadline
- Sometimes the stress just calls for a beer
- One night, around 2am, you begin to question the meaning of it all
- The constant feeling that some huge anonymous entity is determining the course of your life
- You're constantly being asked questions you don't know the answer to
- You keep wondering why this is so dang expensive
- You pull several all-nighters working on papers
- You begin to question if you really are Dossier Material
- You work really hard on a paper just to be told you have to rewrite it
- The final exam determines if you pass or fail
- After you complete the course, time stands still as you await the results in the mail
Let's get this party started!