Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Checking myself into rehab


My senior year of college, I gave up computer Solitaire for Lent.

I know. GeeksRUs, right? But what happened was, I was very overwhelmed by several upper division English classes, and instead of studying like I was supposed to, I played Solitaire on my wee little Mac. Over. And over. And over.

Thank goodness I didn't have the Internet in college. Yes, children, we got through 4+ years of college with no internet. To write a term paper, we actually went to the library and checked out books, real books. And if the book we needed was already checked out, we considered bribing the librarian for the name of the person who had it and breaking into their apartment and stealing it. But basically we were just up a creek without a resource.

Anyway, my point is, I have a little bit of an addictive personality. I learned during my computer Solitaire withdrawals that I would perhaps make a very addicted gambler, if only I weren't so cheap a paragon of frugality. The one and only time I ever went in a casino, in Tahoe, I lost $10 and it just about ruined my night. I am definitely not Vegas's targeted consumer.

Back to my point.

Due to a variety of reasons, life around the Naptime house has gotten even more overwhelming than usual lately. After all these years of mothering my pride (as in a pride of lions, wild, fierce, clawing, sometimes biting little lions) one might think I would be used to an eternally messy house and only getting a project halfway completed before someone fulfilled his urge to pour an entire box of grits all over the floor. Alas, one would be mistaken. It still causes me regular anxiety.

Throw in things like, oh, a stomach virus followed by a week out of town followed by CHRISTMAS AND ALL THAT ENTAILS and I am just jonesing for four aces lined up across a screen!! Jonesing! Be good to Momma, invisible inanimate card dealer!!

I look around and I see disaster and I don't know where to start. Some might pour themselves a stiff drink. Some might pop pills. Some (nerd) might play computer Solitaire.

But not I.

Hi, my name is Missy, and I'm an Internet popper.

I plop down in front of this here contraption and get sucked in while lunches go unmade and mantels undecorated and bible studies undone and Christmas cards unaddressed and laundry unfolded. Which further compounds the problem. It is a vicious, vicious cycle.

This morning during my recently regular prayer time of, God, I know you're there, why can't I seem to connect with you? the idea of a fast 'came' to me. To which I replied, fast? But I was gonna go to the gym today? To which he replied Not that kind of fast.

Food is not my problem.

I need an Internet fast.

Namely, the stupidest, most time-sucking, vapid parts of the Internet, like Twitter. And facebook. And endless Wikipedia rabbit trails. And Bravo.net.

I'm checking myself into the Betty Bored Clinic.

The fact that I feel relief and excitement about this says something, doesn't it? I've become a little (lot?) enslaved to the web. My sisters, this is not good.

So, for this Advent, I will be a less visible. I can't completely de-internet, as bills still must be paid and Christmas photos ordered. This blog is not the problem lately, so if I get the urge to blog I will. I have written some good Christmas posts in the past which I will be rerunning (without the guilt I usually feel when I post a rerun) (see, blog guilt? that's messed up). Hopefully I will come up with a couple of new posts, and I have some giveaway commitments to fulfill.

But if you know me and need to reach me, please text, or maybe we could even go old-school and talk on the phone! Just like in college! If you absolutely don't need to email me, please don't.

And if you wanna join me in the Advent Fast, hey. Come on board.

Have a wonderful, peaceful Advent.

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