Friday, July 15, 2011

Just a man and his will to plank

Y'all have heard of planking, right? When people lie down, take a picture, and post it online for their 15 milliseconds of fame?

It's sweeping the world, with websites devoted to it. Problem is, it can be dangerous. The planking death toll stands at at least two. Senseless victims of a senseless fad.

Some people think it should be outlawed.
With planking police and planking courts.
Those convicted would have to walk the plank (ba boom cha.)

My husband is known for being way cooler than me. He, of course, told me about planking to begin with.

So I should have known it was just a matter of time before he couldn't resist joining the craze.

Problem is, as you know, we are not 20 anymore, like the majority of other plankers. Walker's almost 40. His reflexes are slower. His balance is less balanced. His bones are creakier. His joints are less flexible. His muscles are, well, um, less muscle-ly.

So naturally my heart skipped a beat tonight, when he cracked his knuckles, smiled an excited, nervous smile, and told me that the time had come.  I worried that my beloved would hurt himself. But support him I must, so reluctantly - against my better judgment - I agreed to be his photographer.

We started out kind of easy, to build up confidence...

After that, he was ready to take it to another level.

I held my breath for the second feat -

but he survived without injury. Grateful exhale.

Now, two successful planks under his belt, he felt cockier than ever. He told me he was ready for The Grande Finale.

My hands shook as I held the camera and halfheartedly joined him in humming Eye of the Tiger.

But first he turned to me, stroked my cheek, and whispered what I hoped were not his last words to me, You're the Adrienne to my Rocky, babe...and then he planked The Plank To End All Planks:

That's my man.

He's still got it.


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