Thursday, September 15, 2011

Proverbs 32 Woman + the Most Important Meal of the Day

Y'all, I am so not a morning person. Ugh. Getting four kids up, brushed, dressed, fed, and out the door in the morning drives me daily to drink.

Coffee. With lots of half and half. Lots.

My disdain for all things morning has resulted in the fact that I am not a breakfast person either. Walker thinks I am very weird because pancakes do nothing for me. Or cereal. Or oatmeal. Blech.

Well, aside from grits, which are manna from heaven with butter.

And omelets prepared by men wearing white coats

Oh, and I love me some breakfast casseroles. I have hauled my sleepy self to many a MOPS meeting seduced by the lure of a breakfast casserole.

But that's about it for morning fare. Really.

Dislike for mornings + dislike for breakfast food = bad habit of feeding my kids junk in the morning. Like, Eggos. Especially the chocolate chip ones. Which are incredibly yummy in case you were unaware.

With the beginning of the school year, I made a Momolution to serve healthier breakfasts. Start the day off right and healthy most important meal of the day blah blah blah blah blah.

Which meant a sad goodbye to processed chocolate chip Eggos.

{Insert stifled sob}

Y'all every time I've gone Krogering I've gazed longingly through the freezer doors at those Eggos. They've gazed longingly back. I wipe the tear from my eye, trace "I love you" on the frost...and walk away humming Meeeeeeeemories light the corners of my mind...

Sometimes, I swear I hear them sing back to me.

Knowing my recent loss/depression/confusion as to how to proceed, my mom sent me a recipe she saw in Heloise for freezer waffles.

Okay, before we go any further, do y'all read Hints from Heloise? I used to read it religiously back in the olden days when people actually read the paper on actual paper (even Frieda reads the Houston Chronicle online now. The times, they are a-changin.) (This topic causes my normally moderate husband to morph into a cross between Rush Limbaugh and his 91 year old grandma before my very eyes. 'Liberal rags! That's what the media get for selling out to the far left! I hope they go totally out of business! The Internet has destroyed them like network news! MUHAHAHAHAHA!')

Occasionally I'd get a helpful tip from Heloise but I really just read it because I was so intrigued by her definition of "helpful." Cause people write in the stupidest stuff. Like, "Dear Heloise, I have a tip that changed my life! When I take off my shoes, I put them in the closet with the left one on the left and the right one on the right. That way I can just step into them! Delores, Peoria IL."

I'd put my paper paper down in my lap, gaze into space, and ponder Delores, Peoria IL. Is she really that simple? Did she really think this was a life changing tip? Is she so desperate for attention that she has sent in 100 similar vapid tips in hopes of finally having her 1.5 seconds of fame? Is being published in Heloise the highlight of her sad vapid life?

Will Delores, Peoria IL clip it out and hang it on her fridge and still be bragging about it to the plumber when it is old and yellowing? Will the plumber feel awkward?

Or, is Delores normal? Am I just incredibly brilliant? So much more brilliant than the majority of people in the world that I figured out the shoe tip in preschool?

Am I the only human in the world and everyone else is a robot?

As you see, it was quite time consuming and distracting.

Good thing my mom fields Heloise for me.

So Mom sent me this recipe for freezer waffles and I made them this morning and they were the best waffles I've ever made. Which is saying a lot, because I'm not really into stuff like waffles, remember?

I shall now share it with you. In case you are trying to be a Good Morning Mom.

2 cups Bisquick (I buy the Heart Smart with no trans fat, because I'm such a good mom now)
1 egg
1/2 cup veggie oil
1 1/3 cups club soda

Mix with a spoon but not too much and use immediately or it will go flatter than your hair in record breaking Houston heat.

They took longer to cook in my waffle maker than regular waffles. The waffle maker that was Frieda's, which means it's probably older than I am, which means it is still working, as opposed to every appliance we've bought since we got married and have had to replace three times.

To freeze them, flash freeze - lie out on a cookie sheet in the freezer overnight, then you can put them in a ziplock and they won't stick together.

Pop in the toaster like...(sigh)...Eggos. Dear, beloved, fake Eggos.

So it's the laughter....we will rememmmmmmber....whenever we rememmmmmber....the way we were....


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