When Walker and I were all lovey dovey taking pictures on the beach and embarrassing my mom with our PDA, our church required us to listen to some tapes as part of our pre-marital counseling, famously known as "The Marriage Tapes" by Tim Keller. Yes, tapes, as in, cassettes, as in, little plastic rectangles that my kids don't know what in the world to do with.
For several days I suffered through very low quality recordings of several of Tim Keller's sermons on marriage. Several things I remember, all these years later. I remember his story about throwing his shoes against the wall until his wife finally snapped. I remember him saying if you were best friends/spending a lot of your free time with someone of the opposite sex, that's a sign that you should probably go ahead and marry them, because that's exactly what Walker and I were doing. And I remember this zinger: he said, anytime you get in a fight with your husband, ask yourself, "Where is my selfishness in this situation?"
Dang that Tim. Every. Stinking. Fight that Walker and I have had over the past ten years, the voice of Tim has rung out in my head. ARRGHHHH! Once, ONCE, I paused, thought, and said, "AHA! I am NOT being selfish here! Walker is 100% wrong and I am 100% right! AHA! TAKE THAT, TIM KELLER!!"
Once y'all. Once.
It was beautiful.
It's never happened again.
It probably never will.
A couple of years ago Tim Keller wrote a book called The Meaning of Marriage. When I read it, I realized that he had basically expounded on The Marriage Tapes that thousands of young in-love Presbyterians had been required to listen to for years. I also realized, throughout the book, that Walker and I have a Tim Keller Marriage. His wisdom and advice greatly shaped our philosophy of marriage, and for this I am very thankful. Because you know what?
Ten years, five kids later, I am happily married. And by happily, I mean, really, really happily married.
And I think Walker feels the same way. (Babe?)
Today the Kindle version of The Meaning of Marriage is on sale for only $2.99. If you aren't married yet, that's PERFECT timing! If you are married, you gotta read this book.
Don't miss this.