Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Six days home

Let me just share some prayer requests:

1. Please pray for her to attach to Walker. She is totally rejecting him. It is normal, it happens a lot that they reject one parent at first and better him than me. But that means that I am 100% everything from sunup to sundown. No, after sundown, because she sleeps with me too. 24/7. He can't even change a diaper. It's just exhausting.

2. If you think to pray for us from 3pm-6pm, please do. That's when the kids come home from school and you know, it's the Witching Hour. Homework, chores, baths, they all want me, the other four are transitioning and feeling neglected as it is, and this is when Bethie wants me to hold her full time. And I am at the end of my patience rope by then. Thank God for friends bringing meals. There is no way I can handle making dinner now. If you have friends adopting, please, for the love, TAKE THEM DINNER.

3. During that time Bethie gets wound up and tired and she has starting hitting etc. And I have no clue how to discipline her when we are working on attaching. I am at a complete loss. I've been saying sternly NO HIT but half the time she answers by hitting me. Can't put her in time out because of her abandonment issues. Trying to remember that even with my bio kids I was usually dumbfounded by 2yo discipline - adoption makes it 1000x harder to figure out.

4. Bethie thinks Eva Rose hung the moon. She just looks at her and laughs. Which is great - except it is breaking little Maggie's heart. Maggie has been acting out the most and I think it is because she is jealous. Bethie finally started playing and laughing at Maggie some tonight - please pray it continues. She also rejects the boys but they don't care as much.

5. Walker is driving to Houston and back tomorrow. I have this irrational fear of him dying in a fiery car wreck. Downton Abbey paranoia? Please pray he doesn't.

thank you!!!


  1. Praying, friend!

    And wish I lived close enough to bring you dinner:)

  2. I can totally relate to the issue of not knowing how to discipline while trying to attach! Our daughter is from the DRC and she had some issues with hitting, biting, scratching when she did not get her way and we were just at a loss as to how to teach her that was not ok but not hurt our attachment. Time in is what worked for us, holding her during her intense meltdowns and many times restraining her but staying calm and calmly reminding her it was not ok to hurt us and she was safe that we were not going anywhere. In time it worked, we're 4 months in and in the 2 months those aggressive behavior is pretty much gone, the meltdowns are still here though not near as intense and long lasting. It is hard to keep your cool while being hit, I struggled with that but I have learned that the more I get worked up the more worked up she gets, often times ignoring the behavior and moving on to something else works very well also. Praying for you in your transition!

  3. If I wasn't so freaking thankful for blog updates, I would be really, really annoyed by the Downton spoiler!! I'm way behind!! Thining about all of you and praying too of course!

  4. My disclaimer...I've never adopted and my kids are 6 and 8, so it's been a while since I've had a 2 year old. But I remember teaching them gentle touches, when they would hit I would say, No, gentle touch and then show them and then praise them when they did it. I don't know if that would help you at all. Praising her big time with the good touches? redirecting the hitting toward gentle touches? I don't know, just thought I'd throw that out there. Praying she continues to settle in and trusting that she will grow and learn and feel safer every day.

  5. May I suggest you baby wear her! I bet it would help with attaching, and free up your hands for your other kids!

    I'll be praying!

  6. Hi, I don't know if I've left a comment here or not. We have a foster son who is 2.5 and we struggle with the same attachment/discipline issue. When he first came, I would wear him during the "witching hour" in an ergo carrier. Maybe you can submit this as a question to "One Thankful Mom". She puts out a question on Tuesdays and her readers offer advice, all from a attachment focused perspective. May peace rule in your home!



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